Take 2....what she said....

Uurgh.  god that SHITS me!  almost had the post done, and somehow I deleted the entire thing. NOT. HAPPY. JAN. (haha! that still makes me laugh) ....for those not familiar...a classic tv ad:

hopefully my numpty blogging skills are good enough to make that work :P

Anywayssss....the post I lost was all about struggling with depression over the last few years, when I feel like I'm normally a fairly upbeat sort of person who tries to be a little bit funny most of the time...(various people who actually know me may snort into their cornflakes over that one. 
They can bite me. JOKES...sheesh:P)

It was supposed to end with this blog post from one of my favourite bloggers, Allison from Hyperbole and a Half.  FUNNY FUNNY chick! go read her blog.  subscribe. stalk. she is wondeful, and pee yourself funny.  She's also been struggling with depression, and she explains it all so much better than I can anyway, so my description of what depression is like (apart from the happier ending. YET) is basically. WHAT SHE SAID:

hyperbole and a half - adventures in depression

Take 1......

NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I just lost my entire post :(((( back soon...

So I got a call this morning. At 9am.  From my doctors office.  That can't be good.

I just had updated bloods done at the start of the week, and results were in. Not good, but I knew they wouldn't be, at least for my glucose levels (type2 diabetic if you want to know).  I knew what they would be, since I've been testing, so I knew what my average would be (too high, duh).

Now, I've been struggling with this for a few yrs, and I've only really been able to get good nos. a couple of times - when I've gone pretty much zero carb, and working out hard 5-6 days/wk. 
And I'm just freaking over it.  The majority of doctors/nutritionists/dieticians etcetcetc, I can bet you, have never really tried to live that way themselves - it's bloody hard! carbs are everywhere, and included in so many meals that it's a very restrictive way to live.

So anyway, I had my little rant, and we agreed that my meds needed tweaking (finally!, they've been loathe to do it beforehand), so now it's doubled, but all taken at one time, instead of split morning and night.   maybe this will help my morning nos.  I hope so, cos they are consistently the highest reading all day, and ALWAYS higher than my reading before bed...I've really taken to discounting them most of the time, cos I just can't control them *sigh*.

My thyroid levels were good, finally.  They're always a long slow road to fix up (Hashimoto's Disease - autoimmune, so my body is trying to kill my thyroid.  When I was diagnosed, my antibody levels were in the range of 2000 IU/mL, when it should be under 20ish).... that's not just attacking, that's bloody WWIII!

But now, of course, there's another issue (there' always, ALWAYS something out, every friggin' visit)...Vitamin D...I live in freaking AUSTRALIA, and I'm Vitamin D deficient..Fuck You 'slip, slop, slap' campaign'  so now I have another tablet to take.  OF COURSE I DO.  But this time, I'm getting ahead of the 8-ball.  I'm taking a combined Vit D and Calcium tablet - hey, I'm almost *hush* 40, ya just KNOW that that's going to be the next thing that goes wrong in this (what feels like) slowly collapsing body...seriously, there are days I think this body is aging a full 20 yrs ahead of what it should - I started going grey at 15 for chist's sake!

And so it begins...

So!

Hidely ho there blogaroonie...god I'm a dork - ha!

I follow a lot of blogs over a few different topics - interior design, makeup/beauty, life, news/opinion blah blah blah, so I thought I'd try a little blog myself on the side, so I have more idea of what's goin' on in the blogosphere...how these things work, and hell, it's nice to try and teach myself something new, not sit in a class and be taught, but sit at my 'puter and see how far I get with this thing.

Some people say that you need a niche for your blog....as yet, I have no idea what my niche is, if any....don't know whether it will be about any of the subjects I follow, or something completely different.

So for the time being, I think maybe this will be my little musings place...why? well I have a few musings to get through, and like most people, some 'iss-ues' in my head that I probably can't sort through properly unless I can get them out somehow.  Hopefully I won't offend in the process.

So what sort of stuff am I thinking about?

- career change...god I think I'm so FAR overdue, if I don't move now/soon, I'll end up being one of those sad bastards spending their entire working life doing one thing, and I'm not even 40 yet....I've stayed so long, I'm part of the furniture, but my 'give a fuck' index is permanently in the negative. Time to go. Before I leave in a coffin.

- men - lack of them. 'nuff said.

- health - I have a couple of health issues which are in and out of control.  Steps need to be taken that are hard and uncomfortable and entail complete lifestyle changes.  How do you change something that can be so much a part of your own persona?  How do you take on board all this stuff of what you do, what you eat, when you don't actually like them? when you've been trying (and trying!) to like  them/take them on board for nearly 10 yrs?

- money - need more as a single girl looking to make sure that she doesn't end up on the streets at some stage of her future life.  See 'career change'

- writing - I've had the idea of being a writer in some form since I was in highschool, and started an attempt at writing a book.  Was shithouse, naturally, but I've never taken it further, apart from some very bad poetry in highschool & uni.  Not sure that I actually have the talent for writing, but perhaps this little writing process will help the urge, or get the juices going.

- being an interesting person - I get v. anxious trying to socialise in groups - I find myself listening rather than taking part, so often end up being the 'odd man out'.  I looke around, and everyone else is in a conversation, but not with me.  I get the urge to remove myself from people after a certain amount of time, always have.  But this has now got to the stage where I work, and then go home. Because I live alone, that is turning into my only contact with people outside fo the occasional social outing, that quite often involves the same person.  I'm becomin v. boring, I need something to do / talk about / get involved in.

In short, maybe this blog will be about me turning me around...my attitude, my health, my work, my social life.  Or maybe I'll just be bitching.  We'll see :P